Bossque.

My granny departed this life last wednesday. I was remorseful being unable to send her off her last journey. Why? Thanks to some people. I didn't want to swear but I really have a fuck up family. My poor granny had like 3 daughters in law. Some/All of these women like to... Err, no. They LOVE to backstab and gossip people at the back. And on the surface, they smile at each other, acting gracious acting cordial and most importantly, ACTING FILIAL.

Talking about why I didn't send my granny off her last voyage. This was what happened. I was having intense stomachache while the priest chanted. I kept the pain in me and continued the chanting ceremony. After everything, the instructor said that we're allowed to go for a toilet break as we will not have the option to do so later. I asked some woman what time will we be sending granny off and I was told to shut up. Fine! I sat on the white chair, continuing to endure the excruciating pain in me. Soon, my mum saw me holding on my tummy and she knew that I was having stomachache. She kept swaying me to pay the toilet a visit and naturally, her tone is piercingly loud. At that moment, the instructor (the person who instruct us what to do) heard and told me to go toilet. I felt as if everyone heard my mum's word and I felt discomfit. Initially I decided to go to the temporary toilet but the drummers and helpers were all queueing up. Logically going up to my granny's house and do my business will be quicker. Ok at least, it sounds logical to me. I went up and did my discharge. When I was about to leave the house, Amelia came and told us that they left without us. Us, meaning my cousin, my mum and I as they tagged along.

I felt remorseful being unable to send my granny off. And some women just love to yak and yak and yak away. Yes, I wanted to respect you, but at least learn to respect people too? I asked and I was told to shut up and now you yak like nobody's business? People shouldn't abuse their age or maybe authority to order people around? When you're older, it simply means that you'll die early than I, and I'm showing sympathy to you :) After everything, she acted nice to me as expected. But seeing all the daughters in law makes me sick. I hid in the room till they left cuz I felt disgusted seeing the faces. Of course I heard things that I shouldn't be hearing and that really boiled my blood.

Yes, I'm wrong to have stomachaches.
Yes, I'm wrong to visit the toilet.
Yes, I'm wrong to be not informed about sending granny off.
Yes, I'm wrong to exist in the family.
Yes, I shall not appear before you anymore since the eldest in the family that I truely respect passed away. Of course the rest just love to torment my uncles and screw with their lives, one even went into depression. Afterall I'm only an outsider.I'm only an external grandson and you people are grandma's daughter in law. You're something and I'm nothing. I can do no shit to change any fact. And the above mentioned is only ONE incident out of millions. The reason why I "rebelled" from the family years ago was also for the same reason. I thought people change as time passes. I naively thought that time heals all wound but I'm utterly wrong.

Since everyone hated me and I felt discriminated, you people lead your lives and I'll stay within my own world. We've got nothing to do with each other anymore.

And I can proudly say, none of my granny's son/daughter nor my cousins possesses ill intentions like certain women possess. Thanks for the ironic love and care I received over the years (: